


Only Love

by Ineedadrinkorsleep



Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Wicked Powers Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/F, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-19 11:56:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22043860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ineedadrinkorsleep/pseuds/Ineedadrinkorsleep
Summary: Ok so let's be honest, Cassie probably isn't going to deliver a top tier main wlw ship in The Wicked Powers. Or maybe I only think that because I am a bitter lesbian who is used to disappointment but anyhow. This is a one shot I wrote about Thais Pedroso and my TWP OC Janessa Williams. For those of you who haven't read my headcanon post about her, she's a trans bi vampire musician with a grunge vibe. People call her Nessie for short and she and Kit are best friends.
Kudos: 6





	Only Love

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so I've been thinking about POC rep in the TSC universe lately which lead me to researching south America and Brazil specifically because I wanted to see if Thais could be POC. Turns out the majority of Brazil is white Europian, I was thinking she could be mixed with something else making her POC.
> 
> If TWP comes out and Cassie makes her fully white than whatever.

Ok so let's be honest, Cassie probably isn't going to deliver a top tier main wlw ship in The Wicked Powers. Or maybe I only think that because I am a bitter lesbian who is used to disappointment but anyhow. This is a one shot I wrote about Thais Pedroso and my TWP OC Janessa Williams. For those of you who haven't read my headcanon post about her, she's a trans bi vampire musician with a grunge vibe. People call her Nessie for short and she and Kit are best friends.

It was moments like these where Thais Pedroso had to remind herself that she was a fearsome warrior, dedicated to the destruction of demons and not just a scared girl with a crush. However as she steadily made her way across the LA Institute towards the room that Janessa was staying in, that truth was rapidly dissipating. Thais honestly didnt know what to make of the other girl. Nessie seemed like she cared about Thais. When Thais had gotten injured in a demon attack several nights ago it was Janessa who caught her as she fell. As the poison was coursing through her veins, she could faintly hear Nessie's voice gently telling her that everything was going to be ok as she slipped into darkness. She had awoken two days later to find herself surrounded by her friends and her wound healed, but Janessa was nowhere to be seen. However Dru had assured her that Nessie had stayed at her bedside the entire time she was unconscious. 

So this strange turn of events had led to Thais deciding to pay Janessa a visit to thank her for staying with her and also to suss out what exactly was going on between them. Thais came to a halt in front of the wooden, fairly generic looking door of Nessie's room at the institute. It was just like all the others. It didnt at all seem like a place she would stay. It had none of her personality. None of her usual flair. Thais pushed all these thoughts out of her head and focused on the matter at hand as she knocked twice. 

There was a long pause where there was no activity on the other side of the door. She was beginning to wonder if Nessie had gone to sleep, but then she heard a familiar deep raspy voice call out. "Who is it?" 

Thais took a deep breath in an attempt to steady her racing heart. She knew Janessa would be able to hear it even through the door, which was incredibly unfair. "Its me. Thais" she replied, her accent bleeding into her speech slightly as she said her name. There was a pause at the other end of the door then a soft reply

"Come in." 

Thais paused. Was it her imagination or did Nessie sound almost nervous? Nevertheless, she opened her door and stepped into the room. Janessa was draped over the velvet armchair next to her bed like a cat. The entire room had been re-done to her own tastes after Helen and Aline gave her the green light to redecorate. However Thais was fairly sure they hadn't known what they were getting themselves into. The entire room looked like a gothic mansion from the 1800s with a stereo. Thais almost had to laugh. No one else in the entire world could have pulled this off except Nessie.

Well possibly Magnus Bane. 

"So" Janessa broke the silence, "all healed up now I see." She pulled herself gracefully to her feet. "Oh" Thais absentmindedly reached for the spot on her arm where she had been sliced, which of course thanks to an iratze was now just skin. " Yeah I am. It wasn't a big deal you know" she shrugged nonchalantly, hoping Nessie wouldn't see through her facade. Janessa narrowed her eyes at Thais slightly but then relaxed her expression back to its usual smirk. 

"Well good. We couldn't have you dying on me now could we?" Nessie teased lightheartedly, sliding her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket. "There's only room for one dead girl in this friendship." 

Thais rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "You aren't dead though, I mean not entirely." Thais paused, "or maybe I just don't want to think of you like that" she admitted. Janessa didnt frown, just cocked her head slightly in confusion. "Like what?"

Like once upon a time you were some innocent girl who was murdered in the middle of the night and you had parents who mourned you and friends who cried themselves to sleep every night. Only you were never really gone and no one knows. 

Thais swallowed nervously, "Nothing, it doesn't matter. I just wanted you to know that I'm really grateful for what you did." Janessa raised an eyebrow slightly. "What did I do again?" Thais found herself smiling at the way Nessie was artfully dodging the topic. 

But Thais wasn't letting her get away that easily. 

She advanced slowly, staring directly into Janessa's eyes. There was something flickering there underneath the usual bravado, something she worked very hard to hide. Her soul. 

Nessie had been worried. Thais could tell. 

Thais tentatively reached for Janessa's hand. Nessie made no move to snatch it away but she didn't interweave her fingers with Thais's to hold her hand either. She was staring at Thais blankly, her facial features were not betraying a single emotion. 

"Look I know you stayed with me and I just wanted to thank you, that's all. You don't have to act like you did something wrong." Janessa jerked her hand away as if she had been burned. "Don't patronize me Thais. I've been alive a hell of a lot longer then you and it isn't cute" she snapped. 

Most people would have recoiled in fear at Janessa's harsh tone, apologizing profusely. However Thais was not most people, and she was just as angry. "Ok, what the hell is your problem?" She cried out, fists clenching at her sides. "Whenever it feels like were getting closer or having some sort of moment, you always pull away!" Thais said angrily. 

Janessa's gaze softened, but she remained silent. "I mean I don't get it, you basically flirt with me non stop for days after we first meet, and then all of a sudden you start freezing me out" Thais berated her aggressively. "Honestly Nessie, if you've got a problem with me, you need to just tell me ok?" Janessa was still silent, eyeing Thais carefully, which made her nervous. 

Thais hated it when she looked at her like that. Like Janessa could see into the depths of her soul. It made Thais feel too exposed, too vulnerable. Janessa was silent for a while longer, and then walked over to the grand gothic-looking mirror leaning against the wall. She then looked back and beckoned Thais.

"Ok come here for a sec" Janessa requested solemnly. Thais narrowed her eyes in confusion. "Huh? Why?" she asked, staying in place. Janessa rolled her eyes slightly at her. "Just come here please angel." Nessie's voice sounded more desperate which was concerning. However the familiar pet name made Thais's heart flutter and without even realizing it, her feet were moving. Once she reached the mirror, Thais looked up at Janessa expectantly. 

"Here, turn around" Nessie murmered putting her hands on Thais's shoulders and gently turning her to face the mirror. "Tell me what you see." 

Thais looked into the mirror at Her and Janessa's reflections. She had laugh at the stupid folklore tale that claimed vampires had no reflection. She could only imagine the kind of melt-down Nessie would have if she couldn't do her hair and makeup in the mirror. The stereotype that vampires were incredibly vain wasn't always true, but with Nessie it was more then a little accurate. 

Janessa was fairly tall. Taller than most Cis-gender women at 5'11, but she wasn't awkward or lanky. Nessie was elegant and poised like a dancer, and she held herself with such confidence and strength. Thais stared at the two of them side by side. Janessa with her long flowing wavy black hair and piercing gray eyes that always seemed to be judging whomever she crossed paths with. It wasn't that she was overly cold or cruel, Nessie just really didn't care what anyone thought of her.

Thais compared Janessa's defined features and pale lifeless skin to her own rounder face and the black swirling runes decorating her brown skin. Thais was all warm tones, lots of browns whereas Nessie was cold. There was an obvious contrast between them. Not just in their appearances, but in the very foundations of what they were. 

A vampire and a shadowhunter. Such a thing didnt seem possible, even in the new world Alec Lightwood was creating. 

And yet. 

And yet despite their differences, Thais felt inexplicably connected to this girl. Like she had the ability to say what was really on her mind and how she really felt about the events around her, and Janessa would always listen. Janessa would always understand. 

And even though she hadn't known her for very long, Thais found herself staring into the ridiculously over the top mirror at the two of them standing together and marveling at how right it seemed. At how right it felt.

"I see us" Thais finally answered with a smile. "I see you and me." Janessa's gaze softened beautifully and Thais thought she could see the slightest hint of a smile. 

But it disappeared just as quickly. Nessie shook her head solemnly. "No, you aren't really looking. You're only seeing what you want to see." Thais, not for the first time that night resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Ok then. What am I supposed to be seeing?" Thais asked, attempting to keep her voice calm. 

Janessa stared ahead at their reflections for a moment, then opened her mouth in a cruel imitation of a grin, revealing two long sharp fangs protruding from where her canines should have been. Her pupils were dilated, encasing her normally gray eyes in blackness. This was the face she used to feed. To the casual observer, Janessa might have looked like a monster picked straight out of a horror movie. Something to run from. Something to be terrified of.

Thais knew that even some shadowhunters would look at the sight before them and feel the same way. But all Thais could see was Nessie, the girl who loved rock music and danced so beautifully while winking at Thais from across the room. The girl who ran into Kit Herondale's arms so excitedly every time she saw him and squeezed him tight, regardless of the fact he was a shadowhunter. The girl who fought so passionately for what she believed in and made entire audiences fall in love with her. 

Thais could understand the feeling perfectly. 

Wait a minute.

No that couldn't be right. It was far too soon.

But what Thais knew for certain was that she cared about this girl. Bloodlust, fangs and all. She smirked slightly, giving Janessa a taste of her own medicine. "Yeah yeah, big scary vampire. Big deal." Janessa glared at her, finally turning away from the mirror. Thais followed her as she walked back towards the reading chair. 

Nessie stopped and rested her hands on the back of the chair. "See, that's the problem Thais, you haven't fully grasped what I am. You only want to focus on the good parts and block the rest out pretending they dont exist." Thais opened her mouth to protest, but Janessa continued.

"Look, I'm sorry. This was never supposed to be serious. When Kit first introduced us for the mission because you needed my help, I thought you were like most shadowhunters. All stuck-up, proud and judgemental. I thought it would be fun to mess with you, to flirt a little and see how righteously offended you got." Thais recoiled in anger, her brow furrowed. 

"So what? You hate us then?" Thais spat. "What about Kit? He's your best friend, I thought you loved him?" Janessa softened instantly at the mention of Kit, squeezing her eyes shut. "I do love him, and I don't hate shadowhunters" Nessie protested, reopening her eyes. She pushed her weight off the chair and took a step back. "Downworlders just like making jokes sometimes, messing around, pulling pranks and stuff. It's our way of dealing with the past in a non-violent way. It doesn't mean anything." 

Thais could feel tears beginning to well up in her eyes and she swallowed the sob that threatened to break through. "Messing around?" she choked. "Is that what you call pretending to like me?" Janessa stared at her with a look of absolute horror. She shook her head feverishly. "No! No I'm not pretending I swear." She sidestepped the armchair and moved closer to Thais so they were almost touching. Janessa looked directly into her eyes. "I swear on the angel" she breathed. 

Thais made an unrecognizable sound, somewhere between a gasp and a sob. For a downworlder to swear on Raziel was almost unheard of. Most shadowhunters would have been offended, however Thais found it incredibly moving. 

"But that's the problem" Nessie continued mournfully. "You don't really know me Thais. You don't really know who I am or what I've done. You've developed this school girl crush on an idealized version of me. But that's not who I really am." Janessa looked at the floor avoiding her gaze. Thais paused for a moment, taking this in. She gently reached over to Nessie and lifted her chin up so they were making eye contact again. Her hand came to rest carefully on the side of Janessa's cheek. 

Thais considered her words carefully before she spoke. " Ok then, here's what I do know" she began with iron determination in her voice. Her gaze was somehow full of love, yet unrelenting. "I know that I really don't like most people. They tend to suck." 

Janessa look like she had to fight a smile on that one. "Yeah I'm with you there" she remarked in what was probably supposed to be a playful tone, one that was not full of anxiety. Nessie began to twirl one of her rings, most likely to give her hands something to do. "But I like you" Thais spoke slowly, as if to emphasize every word. " I also know that I feel safer with you then I do inside my own house back in Brazil" she continued, taking a tentative step towards Janessa so they were within kissing distance.

Thais tried not to think about that for now as she focused on what she was trying to say. " I know that the past few weeks I've spent with you have been the best of my entire life, even though as you so blatantly pointed out, I'm young and I haven't had much of a life yet" she chuckled softly, a clear contrast to sharpness of her tone.

Janessa had stopped moving. She was biting her lip with her regular teeth in order to not draw blood. In all the time that Thais had known her she had never seen her look this nervous. " And I also know" Thais whispered, "in the same way that I know the sky is blue or that I am a shadowhunter, that you are not a bad person." 

Janessa's face contorted in pain as she tried to pull herself away from Thais. But Thais held onto her firmly. "You're not" she insisted. "Believe me I can tell. I know that you are good Janessa" Thais drew out each word for emphasis. The slightest smile began to appear on Nessie's face, which Thais counted as a victory. She lightly ran her fingers though Janessa's dark hair and marveled at how soft it was. For a moment, she had the image of petting a fluffy black cat flash through her mind which made Thais chuckle quietly to herself. She supposed Nessie was quite cat-like in many ways. Although she probably wouldn't appreciate Thais mentioning it.

Janessa raised one eyebrow, "What are you laughing at?" she asked suspiciously. Thais bit her lip to stifle another giggle. "Nothing. It doesn't matter." she responded as convincingly as she could. Nessie stared at her for a little while. "You know you're kinda weird angel." Thais grinned playfully, "Yeah I know." 

Thais paused for a moment, steeling herself for what she was about to say. At this point most of her instincts were screaming at her to keep silent. But Nessie was staring at her with a comfortable, lazy smile and her gaze was completely unguarded. Thais loved seeing her like this. 

She loved all sides of Janessa, but this was her favourite. 

"You want to know what else I know?" Thais finally said, her heart fluttering frantically against her chest. Janessa looked at her curiously. Thais slowly leaned in, refusing to take a single breath. Nessie didn't need to breathe and her heart was no longer beating, but Thais could still sense that she was effected. 

Thais slowly brought her half-lidded gaze down to Janessa's lips and back up to meet her eyes. " I know that right now, I desperately need to kiss you" she whispered sensually. Thais gave Janessa about a second to back out and then pulled her into bruising passionate kiss. Janessa her arms around her hummed slightly against Thais's mouth in contentment. Thais had always thought that kissing Nessie would be like kissing ice due to her lack of body heat. 

But Janessa lips were like fire, ravaging and unrelenting. Taking Thais apart peice by peice. She frantically threaded her fingers through Nessie's hair and pulled, causing her to moan slightly . Thais was moving her hands across the span of Janessa's back, caressing as much of her body as she possibly could. Janessa slid her hands down Thais's sides and grabbed her waist, pulling her in even closer. Almost as if she was afraid to let go.

The thought tugged at Thais's heartstrings a little. Mostly because she felt the exact same way. She thought of all the vicious, ignorant people in the world that wanted to hurt Nessie. The people who wanted to hurt this brilliant and beautiful girl who just wanted to make music. There were far too many of them, and that thought scared her. Janessa must have sensed her tension because she finally broke the kiss giving Thais the much appreciated chance to catch her breath. 

Janessa cupped her face and looked at Thais with concern. "What? What is it?" Her voice had a new-found softness to it. Thais looked into the depths of her gray eyes and she could remember the angry shouts of Zara Dearborn and her cohort as they surrounded the residents of the LA institute, weapons drawn. Thais remembered the flaming arrows they shot at what they perceived to be a dangerous monster. 

"Burn it!" Zara had yelled hysterically. "Burn the vampire!" 

Once Thais realized they were talking about Nessie, her Nessie, all she saw was red. She vaguely remembered the screams and blood as she slashed through the hordes of Zara's followers like they were made from paper. Thais could remember Dru, or maybe someone else grabbing at her arm, trying to pull her back, but she didn't stop. Not until Janessa called her name. 

"Baby what's wrong? You're like a million milles away." The sound of Nessie's voice brought her back to the present. Janessa was smirking slightly as she tucked a peice of hair behind Thais's ear. "Care to share what's on your mind?" 

There were two sides of Thais at that moment. The logical one. The part of herself that worked so hard to remain level-headed in the face of danger and kept her emotions under lock and key. Then there was the side that wanted to spill every single ridiculously mushy feeling she was experiencing. The side of her that wanted to tell Janessa how she really felt. Thais had kept that side of herself hidden for so long. 

And then before she could stop herself, before she had time to talk herself out of it, Thais heard herself speak, almost as if she was experiencing it from someone else's point of view. 

"I will never let anyone hurt you." Thais couldn't quite recognize the expression Janessa made, but she then settled for a breathtaking smile. There was a slight pause before Janessa spoke. "I don't really know what to say" she admitted. For the first time that Thais had seen, Nessie looked unsure of herself. 

"I feel like I should tell you that at this point, I kinda know how to take care of myself" Janessa continued. "Or that I don't need anyone's protection, least of all a shadowhunters." Thais bit her lip sheepishly, avoiding Nessie's gaze. "I'm sorry." Thais began to backtrack. "I didn't mean to patronize you or make you feel uncomfortable" Janessa shook her head at that, taking one of Thais's hands in her own and squeezing it gently.

"No, no it's not that" Nessie reassured her. "I feel like that's what I should say, but the truth is that's not what I really want to say to you." Thais felt her heartrate pick up again and mentally berated herself, hoping Janessa would just ignore it. She smiled softly at Thais, most likely trying to subtly reassure her. "What I want to tell you, is that I like the idea of being protected by you. Like you've got my back" Nessie admitted. "I've never had anyone take care of me before. You know?" 

Thais felt a painful tug in her heart at that but chose not to comment. "Well you deserve it" she replied softly, doing her best not to betray any heartbreak. Janessa lifted Thais hand up to her lips and pressed a chaste kiss to the back of it. " You know, I want to do the same for you as well Thais" Janessa spoke carefully, as if she was unsure of herself. For Nessie this was very unusual. "I want to protect you." 

Thais felt tears beginning to well up in her eyes as she beamed back at Nessie. She quickly leaned forward and gave Janessa a soft peck on the lips and then begrudgingly let her go. "Thank you. As much as I would love to stay here with you, its getting really late and some of us aren't nocturnal" Thais joked. 

"Oh right" Janessa replied solemnly. She looked conflicted for a moment and then hopeful. "You know you dont have to" Nessie stated carefully. Thais was slightly confused. "I don't have to what?"she asked. Janessa chuckled softly under her breath. 

"I mean you don't have to leave angel." Janessa murmered inching back towards her. "You could stay here tonight. If you want." Thais gulped, attempting to appear calm. "You mean like sleep here? In your bed?" She wasn't entirely opposed to the idea, but she still felt a little nervous around Janessa. Nessie must have sensed her anxiety because she was shrinking back a little. "I mean it's like you said, i'm still mostly nocturnal, so I was gonna do some research for Kit. I was just wondering if you wanted to stay with me is all" Janessa smiled reassuringly. "No pressure." 

Thais relaxed a little, then found herself yawning. Nessie grinned beautifully, exposing the tips of her fangs. "I guess you're tired then" she joked. Thais looked over at the soft, inviting four-poster bed with it's velvet duvet. She could probably spend the rest of her life there. Thais back to Janessa and nodded, trying to avoid yawning again. "Yeah, I would like to stay. If you don't mind." Janessa gave her another brilliant smile. "Of course I don't mind sweetheart." She fell gracefully back onto the armchair. "There are Pajamas you can borrow in the dresser." 

Thais smiled gratefully. "Perks of having a girlfriend I guess. We're basically the same size." Nessie froze, her eyes widening a little. Thais mentally berated herself. 

Why the hell did I just say that? 

"I mean, only if you want to be. I just kinda assumed that's where this was going" she explained. Janessa was silent for a moment and then smiled fondly at her. "Of course I wanna be, angel. I've just never been anyone's girlfriend before" she admitted. Thais stared blankly for a few seconds. She almost couldn't believe it except she knew that Nessie would never lie to her. "Did you just never want to?" Thais asked, attempting to make sense of someone as beautiful as Janessa being single her whole life.

Janessa brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. "Its not really the same for me as it is for you Thais" she explained. "If people are cool with the transgender thing then they end up freaking out over the vampire thing. Or vice versa. Or I just have to hide huge parts of myself from the person I'm dating which literally never ends well, so I guess eventually I just gave up." Janessa finished dejectedly. 

Thais felt a lump form in her throat. She didnt quite know what to say, only that she was heartbroken at the idea of someone rejecting Nessie. 

Thais paused for a moment, then made her way to the dresser, pulling out the pjs. "I'm sorry" Thais turned back towards Janessa. "I'm sorry, but please dont give up on me." 

Janessa lifted her head slightly, eying Thais carefully. Thais took this as a sign to continue. 

"Look, I can't promise you that I won't make mistakes or say the wrong thing" Thais explained. "I won't always get it right, and I'll probably offend you sometimes, but I want you to know that I'll always keep trying. Every day I'll keep trying because you are incredibly important to me" she finished breathlessly. 

Janessa stared for a brief moment then gave her a sad smile. "Ok. I promise I won't give up. She stretched slightly in her chair, her smile turning playful. "Do you promise to try and get some sleep now?" Nessie teased. 

Thais nodded sleepily and made her way towards the joining bathroom to change. Janessa had grabbed an ancient looking leather-bound book from the bedside table, and began reading. Thais had to smile slightly to herself. Nessie looked so normal, like a mundane high school student or something. 

Thais was about to close the bathroom door when an idea came to her. "Hey Nessie?" she asked nervously. Janessa looked up from the book and turned her head to face her. "Yeah?" she asked expectantly.

Thais attempted her best puppy dog eyes and smiled at Nessie. "Will you sing to me after? To help me fall asleep?" Thais had always loved the sound of Janessa's voice. At this point she was pretty sure it was her favourite sound. 

Nessie's gaze softened as she gave Thais a slightly tired, but loving grin which showed off her fangs. Thais loved the fact that she wasn't trying to hide them anymore. 

"Of course angel" Janessa replied effortlessly. "All you ever have to do is ask."

And as Thais made her was into the bathroom and shut the door, she couldn't help but notice that for the first time in years, any thoughts of demons, rules or responsibilities were far from her mind. 

Now, the only thing that mattered. The only thing that would ever matter, was her. 

Janessa.


End file.
